Soothing Yourself…

Hello beautiful people and welcome to this dose of Celestial Goodness. As always, thank you for joining me in this space and on this journey. I appreciate your time and presence—whenever or wherever you are watching from. In our last episode, the Divine Woo joined us to talk about the Tarot, and the fool’s journey. This was timely since we are in the midst of some major cosmic happenings that portend major endings and beginnings. See this week’s video here: https://youtu.be/awr4h-h1yB4

I made a previous video/blog on eclipses so check that out. These eclipses are very deep—happening in the signs of Scorpio and Taurus, and for some of us they might stir a little bit of anxiety. Scorpio especially carries a deep energetic signature of letting go, of death, and ultimately of rebirth.

It is a sign firmly planted in the fall, while Taurus is in the spring. We know that whatever is dying in our lives, whatever we are letting go of, is creating room for something new to present itself, or for a divine rebirth. And yet, so much has already happened, we just want reprieve now. I have personally felt the purging from my life, and even with a knowledge of the cycles, and good coping mechanisms, it can be a lot—it has been a lot. Also, to be clear—the planets and the cosmos don’t make anything happen, and everyone has free will, but the influence can be felt very strongly, and that can impact decisions, actions, and how we feel energetically. It is also worth noting here that different cosmic happenings impact and influence people in different ways. We don’t all feel these things in the same way, but we all experience transits that can impact our lives at certain times more strongly than at other moments.

It is for these reasons that the topic of soothing oneself has come up several times for me in the past few weeks. I initially intended to make this blog and video earlier, but the timing was not right. It has also become increasingly important for me to prioritize rest and my own self-care. This has manifested itself in actual sleep, taking time from being “productive,” honoring what my body needs, and holding space for myself.

I do hold space for other people, and I do believe that is one of the duties that we have as human beings—how we show up for each other is important. Healthy boundaries are also important, but at least for me, I appreciate the connections that I have with other humans. I don’t ever want my friends to apologize either if they come with their tears, or heavy emotion, because friendship and love is about so much more than unicorns and sunshine—and everyone knows that unicorns and sunshine is my jam.

But being a human means being our full and complex selves, and processing the full range of everything that we feel. In the last several weeks, I have had plenty of cries—my body has literally purged pent up emotion—sadness, grief, fatigue, disappointment, and even fear of the unknown. My closest friends and family members have held space for me to express what I am feeling—they don’t even always need to know all the details, but they remind me of some truths.

Gift 🎁 from my friend ♥️

They have also helped me to soothe myself when things feel particularly overwhelming, but importantly, I have been reminded how to soothe myself when no one is available to help with that. This is also important because sometimes the people we care about don’t have the bandwidth to hold space for us. They might also be dealing with heavy things, or just don’t have the time. Sometimes we are all we have. I have learned more and more over the years why our relationship with ourself is so important. It is because when there is no one else around, we still have ourselves.

We have to get to know who we are at our core, because ultimately we will be with ourselves all day, every day for the rest of our lives. Do you like the person that you are? Do you know who you are? Befriending yourself is probably the first part of being able to soothe yourself. How do you talk to yourself? I have been hard on me at times, feeling foolish for something that I did or said, or even for things I did not do, and yet, I, like most people have been doing the best that I can under the circumstances. Offer yourself some compassion and some grace. Speak to yourself in the same way that you would to a beloved friend or relative. Thank your body for everything that it does for you—thank it for being the physical vessel for your soul—treat it as though it deserves your love.

Offer yourself delicious things 🍎

So speaking with someone that you love and trust is a soothing mechanism, and that does include conversations with yourself. 

Some other mechanisms are:

· Actual meditation. This can be difficult if you are feeling anxious, but sometimes listening to a meditation without trying to engage with it can be a helpful first step. I have some meditations saved that are so soothing, that even listening to them can help me to settle my spirit, and even fall asleep.

· Journaling. I am not great at journaling, but it is such a useful act. I endeavor to get better at this because it is also a good way at looking back on your progress. When you can see how far you have come, that can be helpful in reminding yourself that you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. I mentioned to someone the other day that the things that use to stress you out two years ago are not the things stressing you out today. So we need to remember that sometimes because we are able to make it through crazy times—and into new situations that help with our personal evolution!

· Exercise. This helps to create serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins that help us to feel better. Whenever I am having a difficult moment, one of my favorite cousin’s says to me, “Did you or can you take a walk?” Even a short ten or fifteen minute walk can be helpful! I will also make a plug here for boxing and other exercises that you may not have considered. My trainer is teaching me boxing. Not only have I found it to be very effective in helping to strengthen my body, but I always feel exhilaration after my session. It is different, but it is helpful for releasing pent up emotions as well.

· Rest. In the famous poem Desiderata, one section that always sticks with me says, “Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.” Yes, fatigue, exhaustion, and tiredness can create anxiety. Sometimes you do need the nap, or just a good night’s sleep.

· A warm or hot shower. Water soothes me, and so it is always one of my go to tools. I also have eucalyptus bundles hanging in my shower, and beyond it feeling like a spa, it also helps to soothe my spirit. It’s my emotional support eucalyptus bundle if you will. Eucalyptus is known for its calming properties. Lavender, rose oil, and other essential oils can also be added to bath water, or your soap for a similar aromatic experience.

· Drink some tea. I love coffee, but nothing soothes my soul like a cup of hot tea. I have many tea variations for an assortment of moods and moments. Some good options are: ginger, mint, spearmint, chamomile, cinnamon and orange, and raspberry.

· And of course there is also the option of soothing yourself with breathing. We will go through a small example of this now. I want you to close your eyes. Take in a deep but comfortable breath. Become aware that you are breathing, and feel the warmness of your breath as you inhale and exhale. As you inhale, slow and deep, just say to yourself, I am inhaling peace, and calm. I am inhaling love and compassion. How does that make your body feel? Are you softening? As you exhale, ask your body to release any stress, and any anxiety that you are feeling. Feel the tension in your body dissipate as you remind yourself that as long as you are breathing, that you have the ability to feel peace, happiness, and joy. As long as you are breathing, life can go well. If you are so inclined, put your hand over your heart, and feel the movement of your body as you breath. Thank your heart, and thank your body for everything they are doing for you. How does that feel? This is one of the best mechanisms that I have for soothing myself when things feel off kilter. You can also do this exercise with someone—if you have a trusted person, they can walk you through the breathing exercise.

 

All of this is just to help sooth us when things feel crazy. As Prince used to say, “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.”

I don’t know the future, or what the next days or weeks will bring. The last few months have taught me not to take anything or anyone for granted because we never know when life will shift.

We never know if that moment was our last to tell someone that we cared, or whether it was the last time that we would get to experience doing something that we cared about. So many of us are also dealing with the repercussions of life events, and things that have been outside of our control. There is so little that we do control, but there are ways in which we can face the unknowns of life with poise and with grace. Whatever comes, may you feel empowered enough to know that you can face it head on.

Look to the future 💚

May these soothing mechanisms come in handy, may you remember that you are a human being who is doing your best each day, and that looks different on different days, and may the stars shine brightly over your week. May it be a beautiful one indeed, and may things unfold in the most beautiful ways for you.