What Are We Feeding?…

Thank you for joining me in this space and on this journey, and wow what a journey it has been. I looked back recently over some of the topics that we have discussed, and I felt such gratitude to be able to share these thoughts and this information with you. As I have been sharing, I am also still learning and remembering the importance of these things topics as well. Thank you for showing up, for providing feedback, and for interacting with my dream and my vision. I really can’t tell you in words how much I appreciate it. See this week’s video here: https://youtu.be/uGpM8sXl8GU

Before we go any further, I just want to check in with you. How are you doing? You sleeping ok? Are you drinking your water? How is your breath? Are you tense? Take in a deep breath with me, and release. Deep breath and release. Ahhhhhh… Put your hand over your heart and feel the beating. You are alive. You are here. That in it of itself is a beautiful miracle. Check in with yourself periodically. It is amazing, how informative the body is about what we are feeling and experiencing. There is a lot going on in the world and in the cosmos, and more than ever…checking in with yourself and utilizing tips for self-care will prove to be lifesaving and life-changing.

So what does this year, 2021 hold for Celestial Goodness? Well, I hope to continue to provide content that uplifts your soul, content that inspires you, content that reminds you that you are absolutely loved and needed here on the planet for a time such as this. I hope to provide content that speaks to your genuine, authentic self, and that reminds you that some things and days may be hard, but you can get through it. I hope you will feel that each day is a gift, and that you will live your absolute best life with great health, prosperity, and overall amazing well-being.

Over the holiday season, I took some time off from work and pretty much everything to have some actual downtime. What is downtime for someone with a Capricorn stellium in their 6th house of work? Hmm. Little astrology joke there. Anyway, I made all of these plans for things that I was going to accomplish (reading, writing, and planning content for Celestial Goodness), and things that I would get ahead of so to say… I have a draft of my vision for the year, but I was going to sit down with 100 gel pens and make it more beautiful. (See my video/post on vision boarding). Well none of those things happened, and honestly it was lovely. I was able to rest, truly rest, and catch up with some family and friends through actual conversations, or long messages that you simply have to savor. I got a chance to dip in the sea, and that made my heart sing.

I did map out a few things that I wanted us to discuss on the blog and channel, and I was feeling pretty excited about it all. The downtime, and the mapping out of content, was just what my soul needed. I returned to my day job this past week, and hit the ground running. I caught up on things, and I felt productive. I got up early in the mornings, made my tea, greeted the day, and just was able to cross one thing after another from my “to do” list. 

On Tuesday evening, I reviewed the draft that I initially had for this week’s video—it was to be on the Chakras. And then Wednesday came. My normal day job is on Capitol Hill, and although because of the pandemic, most of us are teleworking, we are not disconnected from the things that happen at our physical duty station.

While the day started regular enough, soon we were getting one alert after another of the buildings being evacuated, suspicious packages, and everyone knew something crazy was happening on the hill. Something that wasn’t quite the norm for alerts. I wasn’t going to talk about this, the “storming of the Capitol,” but I was not prepared for the way in which those events would hijack my energy, time, and focus. Some of us watched the events unfold horrified at what we were seeing. My phone lit up with friends and family checking to make sure that I was ok. I was physically ok, but mentally? Emotionally? That remained to be seen…

There have been many conversations about the events of the day… Questions about how this could have happened? I don’t think there were any astrologers or people who follow the cosmos who were totally shocked. Something big and brazen was in the stars for the day.

In looking at the astrology of the day, the planet Mars—(the god of war)—was leaving his home sign of Aries (also the God of War in mythology). Mars and Aries both represent themes of anger, ego, desires, and action, and a fiery energy. The planet Mars moved out of the sign of Aries after an unusually long stay—Mars usually stays in a sign for six to seven weeks, it stayed in Aries for six months. Mars now headed into the sign of Taurus—the bull, and as it did, it crossed the 29th degree—a critical degree, a degree in which something wild and big was bound to happen. Astrology has helped to anchor me during trying times… to help make sense of things that don’t seem to make sense and this day was no different. Mars needed to go out with a bang.

As I felt the energies of fear, anxiety, and anger settling in across the collective, I could feel my own energies starting to deplete. I felt sick, tired, upset, and sad. I unfriended people from my social media and real life who were saying the most crude things. That too made me feel down. I love people, and I generally do not mind knowing and friending people who have a wide range of opinions, but this felt different. I can’t tell you what it felt like, just know that it was in my gut and it didn’t feel good. In discussions with some friends who were feeling similar, I said, “We may lose people, but we should never lose ourselves.”

The polarizing energy of this time means that we will have to make hard decisions about what we stand for and what we will accept in our space. For me, I have made the decision to protect my peace and my energy at all costs. I know what it means for me when I don’t. I know the emotional pain that becomes physical pain when I allow myself to be pulled into someone else’s dramatic storm. I have lost myself before, and on the journey of rediscovering myself, I promised me, that I would be true to me even if it meant letting some people go. And that is a reality that I have lived. I have let friends and family go, set up necessary boundaries, and strive for a peaceful existence. It can hurt, but we earn our places in each other’s lives. You don’t get to just be here. I don’t just feel entitled to be in anyone’s world, and if there is ever a moment someone doesn’t want me in their world, I will honor that and go in peace. Also, I don’t mean earned as in you pay me lol, but actually we are exchanging energy, love, and time. Those things matter to me.

Back to this past week, I worked on Thursday, but my soul truly wasn’t in it. I moved at what felt like a snail’s pace, and even when I did all my usual things to focus—breathing, and meditation, nothing seemed to work. I decided to take Friday off. I limited my time on social media, and I moved inward. I took a walk and as cold as it was the fresh air felt good, comforting somehow, I listened to things that uplifted my soul, I talked to a few people that I know and love, and we laughed. I laughed at one point until I actually had tears rolling down my eyes. I hugged my love, and I cooked us a yummy meal. Cooking is strangely therapeutic.

I watched some anime and the season finale to Star Trek Discovery, and I cried some more because I love that show. Such good reminders on life. There are four amazing quotes from the star of Discovery–Michael Burnham, which seem to speak to this moment. “Being afraid of everything means you learn nothing.” “The only way to defeat fear is to tell it no.” “The real world doesn’t always adhere to logic. Sometimes it is up. Sometimes it is down. Sometimes you are lost. Sometimes you are found.” “That’s how we find our way, by choosing to walk forward together.”

Commander Michael Burnham

And then after my day of self-care, I could feel myself coming back to myself. Some of us do not have the luxury of taking a day to come back to self… the world doesn’t stop for us to grieve and process, and make sense of things. Yet, I will implore us individually to not ever give into the energies of fear and hate. Each of us has a part to play, and we make the decision each day about what energy we will feed. There is a supposed Cherokee legend. I don’t know that for sure, and while it is very simplistic for me, and doesn’t take into account the importance of some elements to our shadow side, I do think it reminds us that anything in excess can be dangerous. The story goes like this: 

“One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that
goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace love, hope serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” the grandson though about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “which wolf wins?” the grandfather simply replied, “the one that you feed.”

And so, what will we feed?

What am I choosing to feed? What are you choosing to feed? I told my mom recently that the way I feel about these times, last year, this year, and 2022, is that one day you are in your kitchen, and you say, man this kitchen needs to be replaced. The sink doesn’t work right, the stove might cause a fire, and so you, without any training in kitchen repair minus some YouTube videos and HDTV, decide to take a jackhammer and just rip the kitchen apart. Somewhere in the middle of all this, but far enough in where you can’t turn back, you say wow, the kitchen is torn up. I can’t go back to the way things were. And while you did what you could to do repairs, you end up calling in professionals to help fix the kitchen back. They do an amazing job because that is their craft; it is what they have been trained to do. You marvel at how amazing the kitchen looks now, and you can barely even remember the old kitchen. This is my analogy for 2020, 2021, and 2022. Change does not always look pretty. Sometimes we just know a change needs to be made. That was our instinct, to rip things up. I feel that right now, as a collective, we are somewhere in the middle of the repairs. The professionals in my mind are those who can help us navigate the storms—the therapists, the healers, among others.

We also have a role…and one day we will get up, and walk into the new kitchen. Life is born from chaos and destruction…another quote from Discovery. When crazy things happen in the world, I try to see it as a tipping point for necessary change. It may unfold slowly but it will come. In the meantime, I encourage you to take care of your peace as best as possible. Guard your energy, create healthy boundaries, and learn to say no—even if the no is to yourself. No I will not doom scroll. Not I will not engage in unnecessary arguments with people whose minds won’t be changed. No I will not let anyone pull me into their storms. Your energy is important, and if you want to see the kitchen be fully renovated, aka, if you want to see the world be better, then we have to help make it so. I think we can—together. I am hopeful and will work towards that.

From Pintrest

Thank you as always for reading (and watching) and for being here on planet Earth at a time such as this. May the stars shine brightly over your week. Take good care of yourself. Please and thank you!

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