Hello beautiful people and welcome to this dose of Celestial Goodness. This week’s video here: https://youtu.be/WkWfnJ4geik
It has been a while, but we meet now on the eve of a new season. On September 22nd, those of us in the Northern Hemisphere will experience the Fall Equinox.
It is a time when night and day are of equal length, when everything is in perfect balance. From this moment, the nights become longer, the light a little less in the sky, and we are reminded of the power of nature’s cycles, the seasons, and of the lessons inherent in both. The Fall Equinox traditionally represented a time of harvesting—the second harvest, a time of abundance, prosperity, and gratitude.
Within that however, was also the realization that with autumn, the nights would be longer, and soon the earth would sleep—winter would come, deep rest would settle over the land, and we would be reminded of the power in letting go. In this season, we express gratitude for what has come and gone, but also for that which remains. It is also the beginning of Libra season. In astrology speak, this is the seventh zodiac sign, a cardinal sign, an air sign, a sign represented by the planet Venus—beauty, abundance, prosperity, and so much more. The entrance of Libra represents a focus on balance, relationships, justice, and it does indicates the beginning of a new season. For some of us that also includes pumpkin spice, apple orchards, and cooler, crisper weather perfect for bonfires and snuggles.
I have been thinking a lot about new seasons and new chapters. Somewhere between the last time that I posted and today, I have experienced many life events in a condensed period so it feels like it was all at once. Despite being a notorious Pollyanna, I am not immune to the harsher lessons of life, to things that pain my heart, and to the things that crack me open.
The Libran lesson of balance reminds us that life comes with the things that can be perceived as either good or bad. The shadow side of life, and everything else in between. Both are important, and both serve to accelerate our personal growth, our personal ability to transcend the events of life and to be faced ultimately with decisions—how will I experience this? How will I continue with my life? How will I create and co-create my life from this point? How am I being reminded to stay present? How am I feeling supported? Loved? Encouraged? How am I growing? What are the lessons here?
Sometimes we have more questions than answers, but fear not, in Libra season—in the season of an air sign, asking questions is important. I have asked myself a lot of questions recently, and not all of my questions have answers. At least not immediate answers. If I dwell in the what-ifs, the whys, and the how’s, I inevitably lose a lot of time, energy, and personal power. I have been learning a few important lessons. 1) To remember my own personal power. To call it back, when I have let it fly away from me, and especially when it has landed somewhere it does not belong. 2) I am learning that for a control freak like myself that control truly is an illusion, and there will always be some things that are outside of my hands. I can control myself, and the things that I have power to control, but nothing else—and definitely not people or situations that are beyond my reach. It is a heavy load to carry—trying to control that which we cannot. 3) The network of love that surrounds us is so vast, and yes, what we put out in love will always pay itself back tenfold.
You are probably curious as to the events of the summer? Maybe not, but in the light of transparency, I will share. I also share these stories and events from my own life because sometimes we think we are alone in our experiences. Then we talk to other people—in my case, sometimes I talk to the wise women (and the guys too) who dwell all around me, and they remind me that everything I am experiencing in life, in love, in my womanhood is not necessarily new. They hold space for me to process, to grieve, and to rebirth myself as many times as I need, until I can figure out once more who I am now. In the process of living we will die and be reborn to ourselves many times. Each version of who we become may require something new… or we may tap into latent treasures within ourselves that have been waiting for us to tune in.
During this past summer, I experienced the exhilarating gift of travel. I visited Greece—I can make an entirely new post about that. I went to California, Las Vegas, Charleston, and up and down the East Coast. I had a variety of reasons for traveling, but in each place, I learned something new about myself. In each place, I received unmistakable signs of the how life was supporting me. I received messages of trust, of patience, of believing in myself.
I also taught this summer in the academic setting, and despite having to pivot between virtual and in person sessions, and also bureaucracy, my students gave me the most fulfilling reviews about what they learned, and how they will carry the information forward. I was reminded of how far I had come in my own teaching journey. I remembered the beginning of my learning, when I wanted to be an expert in my field, and to be able to say that I am is pretty cool.
I saw most of my best friends. This is rare since they all pretty much live in difference places all over the world, but life worked it out, and either they came or I went. I am convinced that whoever is looking out for me knew that I would need a soft landing place—and my friends are always that and more. They are love magnified, and exemplified. They hold my heart, and I in turn hope that I can show them what a treasure it is to hold theirs.
I met new and amazing people randomly (or not), often in the most synchronistic ways and I experienced so much of the beauty of life and humanity. I have an appreciation for the bounty of America and of the world—despite all of the craziness, there is yet still so much to love and marvel about. I experienced music that lifted my soul and transported me to another realm. The realm where sound vibrates within my soul and leaves an imprint of joy that is not easily forgotten.
But I also learned about grief, pain, and listening to the rio abajo rio or as Clarissa Pinkola Estes calls it, the river beneath. The inner knowing that we carry within us on the work that we must do. We can often hear that voice within guiding us, reminding us, or alerting us to something that we yearn for deeply. She says, “This is our meditation practice as women, calling back the dead and dismembered aspects of ourselves, calling back the dead, and dismembered aspects of life itself. The one who recreates from that which has died is always a double sided archetype. The Creation Mother is always also the Death Mother and vice versa. Because of this dual nature, or double tasking, the great work before us is to learn to understand what around and about us and what within us must live and what must die. Our work is to apprehend the timing of both, to allow what must die to die, and what must live to live.” What wanted to live for me was something deep within me—my spark, my flame, my desire for a deeply fulfilling and happy life. What I had to let go of pained me deeply—a beloved relationship, and also aspects of my own self that I had outgrown. Breakups are never easy, but love never dies, even if the form of it changes; and while we honor the role that someone has played in our lives, we know sometimes that things must end. I send endings off with grace, love, and blessings, no matter how much it hurts, I hope and know that although our journey ended, that our respective paths may still unfold in the best ways.
I also experienced seeing my mother in the hospital, having suffered a “cardiac event.” There were moments when nothing else in the world mattered, just a feeling that I was not ready to be without one of my best friends. Thankfully, she recovered and we were able to share her lesson, one night in deep conversation at the hospital. She said to me that in coming close to death, she has felt more inspired to be alive, and to live fully. I saw a meme that said, “I want to be easily delighted…I want to live with an extremely low bar for delight.” I want that, and I want to live fully. I want to travel and explore, to laugh heartily with my friends, to experience the depths of the various kinds of love on offer, and I want to be comfortable with the hills and valleys of life. Through all of these experiences, my friends and family showed up and showed out as they do. My heart has been more overwhelmed by love than anything, and I do dwell in a place of gratitude.
I have also learned other lessons. Other things have come up for me—my own insecurities, my ego, my fears have also surfaced on some topics, and I have been learning more about the woman that I am right now, flaws, faults, and all. I have learned that sometimes a big heart needs healthy boundaries, that despite feelings of love, that everyone has their own free will and can do with it what they will. I am learning to go where respect, effort, appreciation, and love are being served and accepted. I am learning that no matter how much I want something, it might not be the time, or it may never be. I am growing comfortable in embracing my current timeline.
Essentially, I am still learning, still growing, still feeling my way through this life. That being said, as we enter a new season, I am excited to see what will unfold. There is so much potential in the unknown. Anyway, this has been long, but I want you to think about the coming seasons in your life with excitement and joy. There might be some nervousness of course, but you got this! We all do. May you remember how lovely and powerful you are, how much you are love and loved, and how life truly is a great balancing act between the shadow and the light. Mostly, may your path be full of more laughter than tears, joy than despair, and comfort in times when your heart needs it the most. And I hope you are able to enjoy the sunsets of life, just as much as the sunrise, and that you see the brilliance of the stars in the darkest of nights. May the stars shine brightly over your week, and may it be a beautiful one indeed.
Celestial Goodness 